When she heard that, Joan says, "I wept in my chair. I sat there and said, 'Oh, I forgive you.' I couldn't say that before. I could not tell him that I forgive him for leaving me."

Almost instantly, Joan says her life changed. "A friend of mine even said, 'I can see it in your face. I can see it in your eyes.' It was like this boulder was lifted off of me."

Michael says that by not forgiving, Joan was enduring self-abuse. "The message to the universe is, 'I want to keep repeating this experience over and over,'" he says.

"Being unwilling to forgive is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die," James says. "Ultimately you don't forgive for the other person. If they accept it, that's great. It's wonderful. But if they don't, you forgive for you, because you release that toxic energy from your body and you move forward."

A bad day turns bright »