Three years ago, Joan's husband was killed in an automobile accident, leaving her a widowed mother with two sons. "I couldn't get over the grief I was facing and couldn't forgive him for leaving me alone with our boys," she says.

When she saw The Oprah Show about The Secret, Joan says James's definition of forgiveness really opened her eyes. He said forgiveness is being able to thank the person who has wronged you. "You say, 'I don't want it to be different because there are so many gifts that came out of that. Thank you for giving me that experience,'" James said.

The purpose of forgiveness…it's not for them. »