Make Dates

Castleman and Weston are in firm agreement that couples that have been together for a while need to plan time for sex.

"Make a date for sex," says Castleman, a health journalist who previously answered questions about sexuality submitted to the Playboy advisor. "Don't let it be an afterthought," he tells WebMD. "Do whatever you like to do beforehand, go to a movie or dinner, take a walk, have a glass of wine by candlelight, whatever the couple likes to do as a couple. But set aside that time."

But, you might cry, isn't scheduling unromantic? Isn't sex supposed to be spontaneous? Rare is the lover with a daily planner fetish, after all.

But Castleman has a blunt response. "Grow up," he says. "What's the problem with making a date for sex? People make plans for other things they enjoy, like ski trips or dinners out."

Weston agrees. "I think most people, especially couples with kids, have to plan ahead because they already have so much jammed into their schedules," she says. "Sure there are times when things spontaneously fall together, but those are happy accidents."

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