"Get me the story on aging beautifully stat, van der Leun," barks my cigar-smoking editor as he adjusts his trilby. Well, that's what it feels like. In reality, my editor, swathed in a violet wrap dress, calls me politely into her perfumed office. Find five simple things that make all the difference, she says—and none of them better require a scalpel or a $300 jar of Mongolian lychee extract. "Yes sir, ma'am," I say, and take off.

Get the sure ways to slow time without going under the knife or using a needle.